The Last Shot of an Artist, a piece of art proudly displayed in Paupio street in Vilnius, Uzupis district, just in front of food and drinks shop
We were sitting in a cafe in Pilies street (Vilnius, Lithuania) and talking cordially. Just remembering “good” old Soviet times and manners of totalitarian journalism both we were made to obey.
“By the way,” he said, “could we have a drink? On my account.”
“Unfortunately you are late at least five years,” I said. “But don’t get upset. In some thirty years I will be available for a drink.”
“You don’t drink at all, no matter what?” he asked.
“Of course, I’m not insane. If a squadron of soldiers would shoot me to death because of my absolute abstinence I will drink,” I said. “But after thirty five years of drinking I decided to keep balance and abstain for the next thirty five years. I think, I’ll make it.”
My decision to abstain and ultimately quit drinking after it had become a bad daily boozing habit was not easy. After hundreds of failed oaths “to quit drinking on Monday”, finally it proved to be a success. And one thing had a decisive impact on my mind. One sleepless night I was listening to a story on BBC “From Our Own Correspondent”. The journalist was reporting from Japan about aging people. His Japanese friend took the correspondent to remote place in the mountains to visit his mother. She was an old lady, 94 at that time, full of energy and life. Living alone in a wild she lived at peace and in harmony with nature sustaining herself growing vegetables, picking up herbs and making special herbal vines. She celebrated their arrival giving them to taste some of her many medicine drinks. Her life story was extraordinary. Being a heavy alcohol drinker at 48 she found herself before a personal dilemma: quit drinking and live or go on and die. At some moment she had made her choice, left her former life in town, moved to this remote place and started the new sober life there on her own. When I heard the story I was 45. And at 48 I made my choice to proceed with conscious and sober way of living. Fully understanding every moment of your time what’s going on is also a great virtue in Buddhism. The old lady was a Buddhist.
My friend at the table regretted the lost opportunity to have a drink. It was almost midday. But my decline from drinking he treated with respect. He started telling about his younger brother who, despite an age over 50 and family duties, became almost an alcoholic. Whenever they meet first words of his brother are “Lets have a bottle of vodka.” They even quarreled when he rebuked brother openly telling him of becoming an ordinary alcoholic. The brother took it as an insult.
I told to my table companion that the most common reason for indulging into alcohol is unrestrained, unconscious and unsatisfied hyper-intensive wish to communicate. Or because of other personality disorder. Usually low self-esteem that on the other hand causes a constant strive for center of attention among friends in a company or compels to seek additional attention from society. When you drink “just a little” you cope easier with the role. Another reason may be a totally suppressing sense of remorse for oneself and others. Then you go hide in a “morass of alcohol” hoping and fearing that no one will spot you and call to act responsibly as an adult man.
Next I told him, if a man wants to quit drinking, he has to make a strong resolute personal decision and find such activity or occupation that would allow to serve others, devote his life to other people but not himself.
Then he asked, “What was my personal recipe of success in quitting?”
Beyond doubt it was and still is mind control. Just taking your minds as something outside, meditating and letting them go away, perish into nowhere is very helpful. Because you can’t change even a bit of your karma by resolution alone, by making “a right” decision. A practice of meditation there must be involved. That’s why many fail with a no matter how sincere the hangover oath “to quit drinking on Monday.” Just practice non-drinking and sobriety. Open your eyes to the world and you will easily overcome your bad drunkard’s karma. At least for a while. But never stop striving.
“Strive on with diligence!” I said to my table companion instead of just saying “Good buy.”
He said, “What?” Or rather asked “Why?”
Of course he had no idea these were the last words of Buddha.
Tags: abstinence, alcoholism, Buddhism, practice, quit drinking
2009/03/25 at 22:11 |
and the words of wisdom had been spoken